Being Happy in a Negative World

by Richard Wiedenheft

Discouragement, self-doubt, unhappiness. When these close in on us, where can we go for help? Millions try to escape through entertainment, sports, drugs, alcohol, religious experiences, or the occult. Many seek happiness in money and possessions. Others look for fulfillment through power, prestige, and success. Some get to the point they feel so worthless, they try to commit suicide.

Paul, a follower of Jesus Christ, wrote that there is no condemnation for those who have accepted Jesus Christ's sacrifice for their sins (Romans 8:1). Yet many reject Christ, preferring to find their own solutions and fulfillment. They don't realize that rejecting Christ leads to a life of emptiness and, ultimately, eternal death.

Why do we all suffer from inferiority and uselessness? We are human beings, the ultimate of God's creation, with the potential of living for eternity as His children. But often we don't feel that way.

Mind Games

Two reasons account for the inferiority running rampant in our society. First is the negative mind conditioning we all receive, especially during childhood. Kids frequently hear comments like these:

"You're a real nerd."

"You're a lowlife."

"You can't do anything right."

These expressions destroy self-esteem. They question a child's right to exist as an individual. No wonder the child grows up feeling bad about himself and wishing he were somebody else.

In addition to personal attacks, most children hear a continual stream of complaints from adults - everything from weather to taxes to politicians to neighbors. No wonder kids grow up with negative feelings about the world around them and about life in general.

Many negative things exist in our world, but by focusing on the positive and by having an overall positive mind-set, we will be better able to handle the negative.

Satan is Alive and Well

The second factor is the spiritual one: There is a real Satan, roaming the earth seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). Satan tries to convince people that Jesus was merely a prophet, a great teacher, or a man who died long ago. Even for Christians, Satan knows that one of the best ways to destroy a person is to get him to doubt himself, to think he's worthless, to feel that the world would be better off without him. Satan loves to put thoughts of doubt, discouragement, despondency, and inadequacy in human minds.

Add these two factors - negative mind conditioning and an evil adversary - and it's no wonder the world is filled with so many unhappy, negative minds.

Everybody Wants to be Somebody

How does it happen that negative thinking and discouragement come so easily to human beings? Why does suicide rank so high in causes of death? According to SA/VE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), 30,000 suicides occur annually in the United States alone.

The psychology behind this universal negativism begins with all of us wanting to feel we're valuable. We need to feel we're making worthwhile contributions. We want identity and self-respect!

Unfortunately, in our modern industrialized and mobile society, identity doesn't come easily. A person is just one of thousands of workers. What he produces at work seems so insignificant, so he lives for his paycheck and for the weekends, struggling to get some identity and sense of worth at home or in other pursuits.

Competing with Superstars

With the mass media bringing the world into every home, people have an even tougher time feeling significant. It's not enough for a woman to be attractive to her own family. If she wants to be somebody, she has to compete with Brooke Shields beaming over the TV tube each week.

It's not enough for a ball player to make a valuable contribution to his hometown team. If he wants to be somebody, he's got to compete with Greg Maddux in the major leagues.

What Does God Think?

Actually, only two opinions should count the most in your life. First and foremost is God's. What does He think about you, about your life?

The Bible makes God's opinions clear. When He first created man, God looked at His handiwork. In His eyes, "It was very good" (Genesis 1:31). Of course, man sinned and made a mess of himself and of his environment, but God still thought so much of him that He sent a Savior.

Satan has so brainwashed us with the negative influences, God's opinions just don't seem real to us. If we had His thoughts bombarding us every day on TV, radio, and in print, we might begin to believe Him. We might even begin to obey Him.

What Do You Think?

The second most important opinion is yours. If you are a Christian who is committed to God's will, you've got to choose how to live your life, how to spend your time. You're the one in the driver's seat. What do you want?

Don't clean your house, buy a new car, wear certain clothes, go to church, give to charity, etc. because of what others think. Do it because of what you think! Do it because it's important to you.

Of course, you shouldn't ignore advice, criticism, and opinions. On the contrary, you should be considerate of the feelings of others, especially of those close to you. You should listen carefully to what they have to say and take to heart what is valid.

But don't be intimidated by negativism and empty criticism. Others are so quick to glorify their accomplishments and belittle yours. God does not judge according to the superficial values of men. He loves you and accepts you for who you are! So you must learn to accept and appreciate yourself for who and what you are.

Seven Suggestions

Here are seven suggestions that will help you make the transition from the negative way of thinking to the positive:

Accept Christ as your Savior. God thought so much of you that He sacrificed His only Son for you! He made it possible for you to become His very own child and to live with Him forever (Romans 8:15-17).
Pray that God will fill you with His Spirit, that He will help you appreciate you. Ask Him to help you grow in the fruit of His Spirit (Galatians 5:22) - in love, faith, and in appropriate self-esteem (Romans 12:3). Thank Him and praise Him for making you a part of His marvelous creation.
Focus on the positive things about yourself. Make a list of all your assets (remember to humbly thank God for them). Read the parable of the talents (Matthew 25) and make a list of your physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual talents. Are you kind? Do you have real empathy for others? Are you conscientious, responsible, full of emotion, creative, artistic, analytical, thorough? After you've completed your list of assets, keep it handy. Whenever you get discouraged, pull it out and begin to thank God for the good things about yourself.
Analyze what you want in life. Take time to determine what's important to you. What do you want to do with the time and resources God has given you? Pray for His guidance in establishing your priorities. Then write them down - and don't let the whims and opinions of others toss you to and fro. Refer to your written list often and stay on track. Listen to others, but make decisions about how you're going to spend your time (your life) based on God's will and on your personal priorities.
Fill your mind with positive things. Thinking negatively is a learned habit. Paul wrote to the Philippians, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things" (Philippians 4:8).

Certainly, be aware of evil in the world and realize that thinking positively doesn't make the evil go away. Both good and bad are there! But you have the power to choose which you will focus on most of the time. If you want to be happy, choose to fill your mind with the good.

Beware of people who are always negative. Pray for them and try to help them; but if they won't change, don't let their negativism rub off on you. Listen to positive and encouraging tapes and read uplifting books and magazines.

Take one day at a time (Matthew 6:24-34). When it comes to worrying (a form of negative thinking), yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow is out of sight. Sure, you can learn from yesterday, you can plan and prepare for tomorrow. But live and enjoy today! Don't allow yourself the luxury of brooding about past failures or future responsibilities.
Keep your eyes on God. Remember how much He loves you. You are His pride and joy. He promised He would never leave or forsake you. Follow His example: Love yourself. You are the work of His hands. Appreciate His workmanship!

Reshaping what you think of yourself will take time and hard work on your part. It will take cleansing through God's forgiveness and the help of God's Spirit, but it's well worth the effort. It's an investment in your future for all eternity!

Richard Wiedenheft is principal of Spring Vale Academy in Owosso, MI. Scripture quotations were taken from the New International Version.

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