Learning the power of intercession in the darkest valley. by Carolyn D. Andersen
The first indication something was seriously wrong with my husband, Sam, came when my pastor and two policemen stood at my front door.
I had no previous indication anything was wrong. Sam had talked to my daughter, Stacia, when he got off work that afternoon. He told her he had some stops to make before supper. When he wasnāt home at the time I got home at 5:30, I thought he had started talking to someone and lost track of time.
I had tried to call Sam but had to leave a message. He must have left his phone in his car while he was making his stops, I told myself. Now it was 6:00 p.m., and these men were at the door instead of Sam.
Somber meeting
One man introduced himself as the police chaplain and told me to sit down. My daughter, Stacia, and son, Seth, sat in chairs pulled from the table. My pastor stood beside me, placed his hand on my shoulder, and looked down, not making eye contact ā probably praying. The other officer stood close to the front door.
The chaplain pulled up the wood rocking chair so he could sit directly in front of me. āI need to confirm some information about your husband,ā he said, and checked my husbandās name, birth date, and what type of car he drove.
Sam must have been in an accident and has been taken to the hospital. It never occurred to me that Sam could be dead.
Shocking news
The chaplain confirmed my thoughts about an accident, then added words that shook my world: āHe didnāt make it. He died at the scene.ā
When the words sank in, I started shaking and felt nauseated. How could this be true? I wanted to scream, āGod, thatās enough! I canāt handle this!ā
The air was drawn from the room. I couldnāt breathe, the heaviness of the news too great to comprehend. Seth and Stacia stared in disbelief.
Details
āWhat happened?ā I managed to ask. I put my hand on my chest as I gasped for air.
The chaplain explained, āSam was driving north on Highway 44 when he hit the side of a semi that was headed south. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The accident happened seven miles south of town. Do you know why he would be at that spot? Does he work south of town?ā
I explained that Sam worked in Holdrege and that this was his normal route. He had driven this two-lane highway to and from work for years. Although there was traffic, it was not heavy. If there had been snow or ice, the road could be dangerous. This day was chilly but sunny.
The police chaplain said that Samās car was swerving and went into the oncoming lane and hit the semi. Sam was a careful driver, so this raised a red flag for me. Something must have happened to him.
Answers
I didnāt get answers until the autopsy report was released weeks later. Samās aorta ripped as he drove home. He was probably dead before his car hit the semi.
Although Sam suffered many serious injuries in the collision, none were life-threatening. He died at 4:05 p.m. ā thirty minutes after Stacia talked to him on the phone.
Support
I was glad Stacia and Seth were home so we could support each other. We hugged and cried, and the pastor prayed with us.
Phone calls had to be made. When I called family members, I didnāt want to say the words. I still couldnāt fathom that Sam would not be walking through the front door that evening ā or ever again.
Prayer warriors
I didnāt know at the time that God had put prayer warriors in place to hold us up before we heard the devastating news. Our friend, a police officer, was on duty at the time and told those handling the notification where we attend church, so our pastor was called.
The police officer also called a mutual friend so he could pray and spread the word to others who cared about us. My pastor called one of the elders who was close to Sam to tell him the bad news so he could pray too.
People from at least four churches in town were praying for us before we knew we needed the support. Some of them may not have known who we were, but they knew there was a family who had a great loss.
Once we had been told what had happened, Stacia texted people she knew at her church who would pray too. One of the leaders said they would pray for us as a group that evening.
Food and friends
Almost immediately there were people at our door, bearing food and giving hugs. It amazed me that so many people would care enough to bring something and spend time giving us their love. I could feel the strength of the prayers.
That night a friend, Kay, stayed with us. Her presence gave me a chance to go into my room, close the door, curl up under my blankets, and just be alone. Even as I did, I didnāt feel despair.
Peace and praise
God gave me peace in response to the prayers others were lifting up on our behalf. I wanted to be there for Stacia and Seth, but I needed time to process.
The next morning, I woke with the praise song āAwesome Godā on my mind. I felt like Job: Even if I lose everything, I will still praise God.
Arrangements
I took the week of Samās death off work. There were decisions to be made about his funeral, so a couple from church went with me to the funeral home. The wife recently lost her mother and could give me good advice. Having never planned a funeral, I didnāt know what to expect.
My sister also came to help. She knew what I needed to keep track of and helped me stay calm.
Meaningful service
Because of the close relationship my pastor had with Sam, he planned to make the funeral message personal. I also wanted to honor Sam and express his faith during the service, so the pastor and I planned an altar call.
Two men from church offered to retrieve personal items left in Samās car. I was grateful to be spared seeing the extent of the damage.
The day of the funeral I moved about in a blur. I wanted to run and hide, but I needed someone to hug me. My son, daughter, and I stood in the entry of the church to receive hugs from people as they came in. That was therapeutic for my grief. So was the service. I could feel the prayers of many that day.
Back to work
Because I did not have any vacation or sick time, I had to go back to work the week after the funeral. In some ways, that was good. It forced me to think about something else.
One of the ladies I worked with had also lost her husband suddenly. We supported each other.
Prayer extensions
About a year after Samās death, I learned how far-reaching the prayer support had been during that dark time. While helping with a fund raiser, I started talking to a couple I recognized but didnāt really know.
When I introduced myself, the wife replied, āOh, youāre Carolyn Andersen. We prayed for you when your husband died. Weāve felt like we were supposed to pray for you lately too.ā
āThank you,ā I said, amazed. āItās nice to know people are still praying.ā
Here was a couple who prayed for a strangerās family, as did many others, no doubt. They understood the importance of the body of Christ holding up members in prayer.
Prayer lessons
I still miss Sam but know that I will see him in the resurrection. Through his death, I have learned much about prayer. Its power does not come from the effort a person puts behind it but from a God who is willing to intervene on our behalf.
Because of my loss, I am quick to pray for those in need, especially when they lose someone close to them. This intercession is what God calls the church to do. In 2 Corinthians 1:10, 11, Paul writes, āHe has delivered us from such a deadly peril,Ā and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hopeĀ that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.Ā Then many will give thanksĀ on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of manyā (NIV).
What a wonderful picture of what happened to my family. We were held up by many in prayer and know that God is faithful to deliver us, no matter what the future holds.
Carolyn D. Andersen has written extensively for a regional newspaper in her area. Ā She has written devotions for The Secret Place and Standard Publishing. Since retiring, Carolyn has volunteered at her church and at several non-profits and community ministries. She lives in Kearney, NE.
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