The creative ways of the Creator in protecting life.
by Janet Brown
I was unmarried and pregnant. I knew abortion was wrong, but my boyfriend, Bob, insisted I have one. He was a musician, a “free spirit” who didn’t want to be tied down with children. I, on the other hand, had been raised with Christian values. My parents brought me up in the church, but somewhere along the line, I forsook that upbringing.
Blind love
It started when a friend invited me to go to the bar with her and watch her brother play in a band, and I met Bob. He was on stage playing his keyboard when suddenly he looked up and our eyes met. For me, it was love at first sight.
When the band took a break, Bob ignored the other women vying for his attention and came right to our table. “Who’s your friend?” he asked his sister. She introduced us, and he asked me to dance. I was literally swept off my feet by his suave dance moves and flattering words.
We started dating, and before I knew it, Bob had moved into my house. I had been taught that living together before marriage was wrong in God’s sight. Nevertheless, I was so in love with Bob, I ignored my conscience. I had never been happier in my life . . . or so I thought.
Troubled conscience
When the pregnancy test read positive, everything changed. Our romance immediately turned sour, and my dream world collapsed around me. Bob insisted I have an abortion; he made the appointment. All I could do was cry.
For three days I struggled with my conscience. I couldn’t eat or sleep. Finally I called my best friend, Barb, and asked if we could meet for lunch.
Honest conversation
While waiting for our order, I told her I was pregnant. “That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed.
“No,” I said, hanging my head. “It’s not wonderful. Bob wants me to have an abortion.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m so confused. I love Bob but I know abortion is wrong. I’m afraid if I refuse to have one, he’ll leave me.”
Barb looked me straight in the eye and stated, “Yes, but you’re the one who has to live with a guilty conscience the rest of your life. You better think hard about that.”
Right decision
The day before the appointment, I made my decision. I knew I had to cancel the abortion, even if it meant losing Bob. I carried through with my decision, then waited for him to come home from work.
As I waited, I prayed. God, please give me the courage to stand firm in my decision. I know abortion is wrong. I know living together is wrong. I confess my sins to You, God, and ask for Your forgiveness. I want to make things right. Please help me.
Turnaround
I heard Bob’s car pull in the driveway. I took a deep breath, ready to defend my position. He came inside and plopped on the couch. “We have to talk,” he said. “We can’t go through with this abortion.” Relief flooded my soul. I couldn’t believe my ears!
“Something happened today that totally changed my mind,” he continued. “I was struggling with my conscience all morning. I just didn’t have any peace, so I decided to take a walk on my lunch hour to clear my head.
“I passed by a hooker who was pregnant out to here.” He illustrated with his arms how big she was. “She asked me if I was looking for a good time, and I told her, ‘No.’ I walked a few more blocks then turned around and went back to her. ‘Why are you doing this in your condition?’ I asked. She said, ‘Because it’s my job.’ So I asked her, ‘Why didn’t you just have an abortion? Wouldn’t that have made your job a lot easier?’ She said, ‘Mister, I love my baby. And besides, I don’t believe in killing someone helpless.’”
Confession
Bob hung his head. “That really shocked me. I never thought about abortion as killing someone helpless.”
He was quiet a minute, then continued. “I walked on until I came to a church. Something drew me inside.” Bob hadn’t been inside a church in years. “I sat down in one of the pews, and then I got on my knees and prayed, ‘God, forgive me. I’m a bigger sinner than that prostitute. Forgive me for wanting to kill my baby.’”
He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “I’m canceling the appointment,” he said.
Then I started crying. “You don’t have to,” I sobbed. “I already did.” We hugged, then sat down at the table and discussed the future of our baby. We decided to do the right thing and get married.
Unsettling behavior
Bob and I were married a month later. I happily prepared for the coming of our baby, decorating the nursery and sorting through newborn clothes. Every day my love for the life within me increased, and I thanked God for the privilege of motherhood.
Unfortunately Bob wasn’t as enthused about fatherhood. His only love seemed to be music. He stayed out later and later at night, working with fellow musicians at a recording studio. Left alone far too many nights, I began to wonder if marriage to Bob had been the right thing after all. My only comfort came from knowing God was with me. He had stopped the abortion, and I knew He loved this child as much as I did maybe more.
New baby
The night I went into labor, Bob stayed out until 4 a.m. I was frantic by the time he came through the door. My contractions were now close and hard. He rushed me to the hospital, and an immediate examination revealed I was dilated to ten and ready to deliver. Danny was born a few minutes later.
As I held him in my arms, joy flooded my soul. He was so tiny . . . so perfect! I thanked God earnestly for saving his life and blessing me with a healthy baby.
New life
I wish I could say everything went well after that, but it didn’t. Bob had an affair, then became addicted to crack cocaine. After six years of betrayal, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I filed for divorce.
Danny continued to be my greatest blessing. As a single mom, I learned to trust God for everything. He became Danny’s Father in the truest sense of the word. When Danny had a need, I prayed. God always came through.
I never dated while Danny was growing up; I felt I was married to the Lord. He provided all the love, peace, joy, encouragement, help, and strength I needed to be a good mother.
Immeasurably more
Danny grew up to be a fine young man tenderhearted and compassionate. He’s a blessing to everyone he meets. I know God’s hand has been on him since conception, and I know I wasn’t worthy of that miracle. But God’s goodness is not dependent upon mine.
One scripture I’ve treasured throughout the years is Ephesians 3:20, 21:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (NIV).
My son is living proof that God is able to do more than I could ever dream when I follow His ways.
About the Author